Today, I'm talking to you ladies - yes, you; the ones in the wrong career or settling for a position below your ability. Neither of these options honor who we are and what we can contribute. I have no doubt that plenty of misplaced women are still contributing plenty, but what are we capable of when we're actually pursuing our heart's desire. Rather than an administrative assistant, Gail researches viruses at a university. Libby goes on digs in South America since she left her department store sales job. Jennifer quit running the radio station's front office, so she can write her own radio programs. Did your parents tell you to play it safe, but you wanted to fly airplanes?
Women hire a personal coach for many reasons, but it often comes down to: "I don't feel fulfilled by what I'm doing" or "I like my work, but feel like there's something more for me." Our society gives woman plenty of subliminal messages about what we're supposed to like and not like. Aspire to leadership? Well ok, but you'll have to exhibit more masculine traits, you know, to convince everyone that you're capable and up to the heavy challenges. How many overt and subliminal messages say femininity and leadership roles are not compatible?
I love coaching woman who want to lead. Leadership is an exciting, complex and fulfilling path to walk. If you have that calling - listen to it. The most effective leader is an authentic one, not a masculine one. We've become jaded by the manipulative behaviors of leaders in politics and business. I encourage us to not look away from the pools of deceit, disgusted and discouraged. Rather, pour the fresh waters of compassion, creativity and collaboration into the stagnant ponds so they thrive again.
Ladies - if you want to lead, then learn to lead and lead well, honestly and passionately. We are past the time in history where we should settle for a position that makes everyone comfortable. If you can run the company, then don't settle for being one of the VP's. If you can improve your state or federal government, run for office. Woman are not being beaten by men more often at the polls, they aren't running as often. Less than 25% of elected politicians are woman and yet we are 51% of the population.
The world needs more female leaders; we need to stop wasting our talent because we're following old patterns. Creating new paradigms takes concerted effort and cannot be accomplished from a settling, rationalized mind-set. Coaches are in the business of complacency busting. If you know you are settling, I hope you will work with a coach. If you want to be a pilot, I hope you will fly.
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For awhile there I thought that I needed a coach to help me sort out my life. I confuse myself when it comes to what I should do in life. Those who know me can easily let me know what they think I could be great at. But the most important issue for me is that I have to love what I am doing. Since I started working in the Education field I have been challenged but a majority of the time I have been doing easy work. The only challenge so far was learning how to connect with teens and build relationships with them. The rest of my work is clerical and quick to learn. I pride myself in being a hard worker and a quick learner. But what I dont share with most is that I get bored easily. If I am not challenged daily I find ways to keep myself occupied. At times it is not very productive but I manage. I completely agree with the points you have made in your blog. I do feel like I am settling in this job. All the tasks are easy to learn and master. It is just a matter of making it all happen. I should not say this but most of my work is busy work. Things that others should have done but didnt and here I am hired to organize it all and make it easier for everyone else. That was the biggest issue for me was finding ways to make peace with this job and to keep myself motivated to keep coming.
ReplyDeleteIt has take many years to realize that I am a leader for the youth. All those years ago when my mentors would say that I will make a great leader. I did not have enough confidence to say yes I will. Because at that time I was not ready for such a big role. Since returning home I see all the social issues every day and I see many students not striving in their education. To me this is a crisis that needs to be addressed. Within all this new knowledge and first hand experiences I have embraced what it means to be a leader.
Thank you for sharing :)
Crystal, I completely agree with you realizing you are a leader! I would love to talk to you about leadership, especially being a positive influence on Native youth. You were born to do this!
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