Nope, not the 4-letter F word (I know that's what you're thinking); I'm talking about the 5-letter word we need everyday - FOCUS!
When we were younger you might remember getting "Focus!" yelled at you by a parent, a teacher or a coach. "Stop talking and focus." "What are you doing? Stay focused!" I'm suggesting now that we choose to whisper this word to ourselves, "shhhh . . . stay still . . . focus."
There are so many distractions in our daily lives that we must make the commitment to improving our focus if we stand a chance of getting significant work done - not once in a while, but everyday. Our phones beep and sing and ring at us, our email "blings" you've got another new email, here comes an instant message, a tweet and on and on.
Ironically, I've resorted to using the rain app on my phone to drown out the noise when I just want to focus on what I'm working on, reading or God forbid, resting. Focus takes intention and practice - special thanks to my clarinet days; I thought I was practicing scales and difficult passages, but really I was practicing how to Focus.
It helps to practice focusing in our childhood years, but improving our focus doesn't take buying an expensive instrument or taking a course - it takes committing time to one thing at a time and sticking to that commitment, despite the incoming distractions.
Besides the obvious tasks at work and needs of our home environment, there are lots of daily applications for focus. Some I suggest are writing, meditating and reading. When instructing young leaders, I emphasize focused listening - something that can be done haphazardly or with a high level of focus and intent. Also, I'd appreciate it if some of you would focus more as you drive (you know who you are)!
Focus doesn't have to be the bad F-word and we don't need it yelled at us commando style. Commit to improving your ability to focus without caving to distractions, focus on extending your ability to focus for longer periods of time, and to really enjoy the process, focus intently on challenges that matter to you, those tasks that make a difference for yourself and others.
Shhh . . . stay still . . . focus.
focused on coaching: http://www.facebook.com/CoachWSolutions
Showing posts with label Do the Work. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Do the Work. Show all posts
Sunday, October 14, 2012
Wednesday, October 3, 2012
Getting It Done
In the coming days, I'll be traveling to Florida for my father's service. I liked the Seth Godin post below as it reminded me of my father's devotion to service. He knew he could do the work and would do it. That of course, often got him more work as many would rather compliment you for being effective at "getting it done" than doing the work themselves. If it's important to you, do the work. If your words won't influence others, your works may.
The wishing/doing gap
It would be great to be picked, to win the random lottery, to have a dream come true.
But when we rely on a wish to get where we want to go, we often sacrifice the effort that might make it more likely that we get what we actually need. Waiting for the prince to show up is a waste of valuable time, and the waiting distracts us from and devalues the hard work we might be doing instead.
If you can influence the outcome, do the work.
If you can't influence the outcome, ignore the possibility. It's merely a distraction.
Seth Godin
But when we rely on a wish to get where we want to go, we often sacrifice the effort that might make it more likely that we get what we actually need. Waiting for the prince to show up is a waste of valuable time, and the waiting distracts us from and devalues the hard work we might be doing instead.
If you can influence the outcome, do the work.
If you can't influence the outcome, ignore the possibility. It's merely a distraction.
Seth Godin
Wednesday, September 26, 2012
Clean Out the Closet and Clean Up Our Act
Let's look at the same process we use to clean out a closet to help us clean up our act -
Think about the piles you might make as you pull your stuff out of that closet:
Get Rid of It
Did you find that jacket that never fit? The orange set of towels you keep thinking you'll use at Halloween? How about that fondu pot from 1980? When you start with the resolve to get that closet cleaned up, you pull these out, take a good look, maybe have a good laugh and then put them in the Get Rid Of It pile.
Same goes for a habit or behavior that you don't need - look directly at that behavior like it's that fondu pot staring back at you. Don't flinch and don't distract yourself. If you know you don't need to eat that bag of chips at 10pm, Get Rid of That Behavior! Give those chips to your neighbor with ten 10-year olds at her house for a birthday party. Are you hanging on to an old behavior that you no longer need or can afford? Give it away with the cassette deck.
I don't need to hit the snooze alarm three times. I found that I don't need to use it at all. That behavior is now in the Got Rid of It pile so I can afford to give away my alarm clock too.
Sometimes Useful
Sometimes we find something useful in the closet that we forgot about. If you find an umbrella that still works, well you don't need it everyday so that goes in the (sometimes) Something Useful pile. The trick here is to not only save it, but to put it in a place where you'll remember it and use it!
When it comes to our habits, this might look like paying our bills (on time), putting out the garbage, cleaning behind the appliances or buying a card (for our favorite relative that's not on Facebook).
Wow - This is Cool!
The Wow - This is Cool pile includes stuff you forgot you had but are so glad you found again; so glad, in fact that you'll start using it again right away. This stuff is useful and meaningful and you can't even remember why you tucked it away - so hooray! It's found and back in circulation.
How does this look in our habitual life? Well it might be discovering the joy of talking to a friend that you lost track of or realizing that you were happier when you jogged four times a week. It could be resurrecting a long-forgotten yoga routine or a recipe that makes you feel good and is good for you too. "Wow - that's cool" and I even have the ingredients!
Don't Need it and No One Else Does Either
This covers the stuff we find that has no value to anyone - the don't put it in a yard sale, don't give it to a charity, don't put it on the curb with a 'Free' sign on it pile . . . it's junk and belongs in the garbage.
This includes stuff that's broken and unrepairable, is so old that there are no replacement parts, or is dangerous.
Ok, so here goes - when we have behaviors that are not worth repairing (as in a habit that has no redeeming value to our life) or that comes from long, long ago with zero benefit, or - drum roll here - is DANGEROUS, these behaviors belong in the chuck it pile. Rationalizing any of these is a con game waged against ourselves. Be brave, be honest, hold yourself to the standard you know you deserve, hire a coach or if it's an addiction or therapeutic issue, get proper help.
We all know the obvious, illegal and addictive ones, but don't forget the less obvious like chronic blaming, shaming, yelling, tantrums, manipulative pouting, gossiping, being chronically late or making others guess when our nasty stuff will show up. It's up to each of us, to look at our own stuff and want to clean it up.
So do you want to do some tossing? Let's clean up our act and a nasty closet too while we're at it!
Leave a comment or send me a message on Facebook:
http://www.facebook.com/CoachWSolutions
Think about the piles you might make as you pull your stuff out of that closet:
Get Rid of It
Did you find that jacket that never fit? The orange set of towels you keep thinking you'll use at Halloween? How about that fondu pot from 1980? When you start with the resolve to get that closet cleaned up, you pull these out, take a good look, maybe have a good laugh and then put them in the Get Rid Of It pile.
Same goes for a habit or behavior that you don't need - look directly at that behavior like it's that fondu pot staring back at you. Don't flinch and don't distract yourself. If you know you don't need to eat that bag of chips at 10pm, Get Rid of That Behavior! Give those chips to your neighbor with ten 10-year olds at her house for a birthday party. Are you hanging on to an old behavior that you no longer need or can afford? Give it away with the cassette deck.
I don't need to hit the snooze alarm three times. I found that I don't need to use it at all. That behavior is now in the Got Rid of It pile so I can afford to give away my alarm clock too.
Sometimes Useful
Sometimes we find something useful in the closet that we forgot about. If you find an umbrella that still works, well you don't need it everyday so that goes in the (sometimes) Something Useful pile. The trick here is to not only save it, but to put it in a place where you'll remember it and use it!
When it comes to our habits, this might look like paying our bills (on time), putting out the garbage, cleaning behind the appliances or buying a card (for our favorite relative that's not on Facebook).
Wow - This is Cool!
The Wow - This is Cool pile includes stuff you forgot you had but are so glad you found again; so glad, in fact that you'll start using it again right away. This stuff is useful and meaningful and you can't even remember why you tucked it away - so hooray! It's found and back in circulation.
How does this look in our habitual life? Well it might be discovering the joy of talking to a friend that you lost track of or realizing that you were happier when you jogged four times a week. It could be resurrecting a long-forgotten yoga routine or a recipe that makes you feel good and is good for you too. "Wow - that's cool" and I even have the ingredients!
Don't Need it and No One Else Does Either
This covers the stuff we find that has no value to anyone - the don't put it in a yard sale, don't give it to a charity, don't put it on the curb with a 'Free' sign on it pile . . . it's junk and belongs in the garbage.
This includes stuff that's broken and unrepairable, is so old that there are no replacement parts, or is dangerous.
Ok, so here goes - when we have behaviors that are not worth repairing (as in a habit that has no redeeming value to our life) or that comes from long, long ago with zero benefit, or - drum roll here - is DANGEROUS, these behaviors belong in the chuck it pile. Rationalizing any of these is a con game waged against ourselves. Be brave, be honest, hold yourself to the standard you know you deserve, hire a coach or if it's an addiction or therapeutic issue, get proper help.
We all know the obvious, illegal and addictive ones, but don't forget the less obvious like chronic blaming, shaming, yelling, tantrums, manipulative pouting, gossiping, being chronically late or making others guess when our nasty stuff will show up. It's up to each of us, to look at our own stuff and want to clean it up.
So do you want to do some tossing? Let's clean up our act and a nasty closet too while we're at it!
Leave a comment or send me a message on Facebook:
http://www.facebook.com/CoachWSolutions
Saturday, August 18, 2012
When It's Worth Being Stubborn
I used to describe myself as"tenacious" and "persistent". I'd say, "what you call stubborn, I call tenacious" and I'd usually smile (inferring a wink . . . which is usually received as a smirk). Then I read Do the Work by Steven Pressfield and had to agree with his assertion that "stubborn is less lofty than tenacity" - that resonated with me. Who needs "lofty" when what the circumstance dictates is a good dose of stubbornness?
I have always known that others consider me stubborn and some of those would add "to a fault", but I've decided to own my stubbornness - it's mine, so here I go: I'M STUBBORN and PROUD OF IT! Why? Because I'm confident that I'm stubborn when it matters . . . to me.
What matters to YOU? What are you passionate enough to get stubborn about, dig-your-heels-in, don't-let-go to your core about? I'm not advocating control freak (my way or the highway) or ignorance is bliss stubborn - I'm talking about those beliefs that are worth fighting for, the ones you've examined and feel deep down in the core of your being.
What must you be stubborn about? Not lofty tenacious or pesky persistent, but down right "damn, she's stubborn!" When you recognize the issue that you must resist with all your skills and passion (hint: this usually feel like a kick to the gut), then Pressfield suggests, "We sink our junkyard-dog teeth into resistance's ass and not let go, no matter how hard he kicks."
Now that's not lofty, but I'm for it! Warning: this is NOT for the meek.
We'll discuss finesse and grace on another post (wink).
i coach those insisting on an amazing life: coachwsolutions@gmail.com
I have always known that others consider me stubborn and some of those would add "to a fault", but I've decided to own my stubbornness - it's mine, so here I go: I'M STUBBORN and PROUD OF IT! Why? Because I'm confident that I'm stubborn when it matters . . . to me.
What matters to YOU? What are you passionate enough to get stubborn about, dig-your-heels-in, don't-let-go to your core about? I'm not advocating control freak (my way or the highway) or ignorance is bliss stubborn - I'm talking about those beliefs that are worth fighting for, the ones you've examined and feel deep down in the core of your being.
What must you be stubborn about? Not lofty tenacious or pesky persistent, but down right "damn, she's stubborn!" When you recognize the issue that you must resist with all your skills and passion (hint: this usually feel like a kick to the gut), then Pressfield suggests, "We sink our junkyard-dog teeth into resistance's ass and not let go, no matter how hard he kicks."
Now that's not lofty, but I'm for it! Warning: this is NOT for the meek.
We'll discuss finesse and grace on another post (wink).
i coach those insisting on an amazing life: coachwsolutions@gmail.com
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