PAY ATTENTION! Firing and Wiring

Today I asked my muse to make sense of some of the seemingly unrelated material I have read, watched and thought about lately.  Here goes -

I was watching a video and reading articles on the Nicabm site (National Institute for the Clinical Application of Behavioral Medicine) and I became curious about Daniel Siegel's thoughts on paying attention.  This topic always interests me as an educator, coach and - well, a person.  Would you agree that paying attention can improve the quality of all sorts of activities, including friendships and family relations?  I find this to be true, although plenty of people are willing to excuse others for not paying attention to them.  Perhaps this is a "gimmie" so we'll be excused when we need one.

Siegel made it simple in his video: "Neurons that fire together, wire together."  We have daily opportunities to change our brains neurologically, if we'll concentrate long enough to allow our neurological system to respond to the content we are inputting.  Focusing everyday on what we say is important to us, how we prefer to behave and how and to what we respond to is a discipline that brain craves for growth.

Not only does this have personal implications, but as a leader of teams or musical ensembles, it could mean that getting everyone to pay attention simultaneously and consistently will change the dynamics of the entire team going forward.  It makes sense that creating some similar wiring affords us better odds that we will move in concert.  (Please) PAY ATTENTION, therefore, becomes more than just a request for obedience, but a call for mutual understanding.

That takes me to another current thought, which does apparently connect to the first: the overemphasis and demand for obedience, especially in our schools.  Sucking off the tit of obedience for thirteen years will not create the strong brain wiring necessary to navigate our complicated 21st century world, but paying attention will.  This may sound like semantics, but I advocate we motivate students (or team members) to pay attention rather than demanding obedience.  We must give our students compelling reasons to focus their precious attention, creating relevance and constant connections for strong brain synapses.  The case for obedience "so they'll get what we're teaching" is weak.  We all know we can appear obedient without actually engaging.  (Quiet does not equal learning.)

So that's a bit of thought congealing from me today - along with watching Streisand phone one in on her new movie Guilt Trip; although my brain couldn't retain the title 24 hours later and I had to look it up (inject obvious reason here: ______)  Football?  Yes, that too.  I think the Packers defense could have payed more attention to the SF quarterback running at will all over the field.
 
From my brain wiring to yours, I leave you with: Let's Pay Attention - our brains are counting on us!

Clean Out the Closet and Clean Up Our Act

Let's look at the same process we use to clean out a closet to help us clean up our act  -

Think about the piles you might make as you pull your stuff out of that closet:

Get Rid of It
Did you find that jacket that never fit?  The orange set of towels you keep thinking you'll use at Halloween?  How about that fondu pot from 1980?  When you start with the resolve to get that closet cleaned up, you pull these out, take a good look, maybe have a good laugh and then put them in the Get Rid Of It pile.
Same goes for a habit or behavior that you don't need - look directly at that behavior like it's that fondu pot staring back at you.  Don't flinch and don't distract yourself.  If you know you don't need to eat that bag of chips at 10pm, Get Rid of That Behavior!  Give those chips to your neighbor with ten 10-year olds at her house for a birthday party.  Are you hanging on to an old behavior that you no longer need or can afford?  Give it away with the cassette deck.

I don't need to hit the snooze alarm three times.  I found that I don't need to use it at all.  That behavior is now in the Got Rid of It pile so I can afford to give away my alarm clock too.
     
Sometimes Useful
Sometimes we find something useful in the closet that we forgot about.  If you find an umbrella that still works, well you don't need it everyday so that goes in the (sometimes) Something Useful pile.  The trick here is to not only save it, but to put it in a place where you'll remember it and use it!

When it comes to our habits, this might look like paying our bills (on time), putting out the garbage, cleaning behind the appliances or buying a card (for our favorite relative that's not on Facebook).  

Wow - This is Cool!
The Wow - This is Cool pile includes stuff you forgot you had but are so glad you found again; so glad, in fact that you'll start using it again right away.  This stuff is useful and meaningful and you can't even remember why you tucked it away - so hooray!  It's found and back in circulation.

How does this look in our habitual life?  Well it might be discovering the joy of talking to a friend that you lost track of or realizing that you were happier when you jogged four times a week.  It could be resurrecting a long-forgotten yoga routine or a recipe that makes you feel good and is good for you too.  "Wow - that's cool" and I even have the ingredients!

Don't Need it and No One Else Does Either
This covers the stuff we find that has no value to anyone - the don't put it in a yard sale, don't give it to a charity, don't put it on the curb with a 'Free' sign on it pile . . . it's junk and belongs in the garbage. 
This includes stuff that's broken and unrepairable, is so old that there are no replacement parts, or is dangerous.

Ok, so here goes - when we have behaviors that are not worth repairing (as in a habit that has no redeeming value to our life) or that comes from long, long ago with zero benefit, or - drum roll here - is DANGEROUS,  these behaviors belong in the chuck it pile.  Rationalizing any of these is a con game waged against ourselves.  Be brave, be honest, hold yourself to the standard you know you deserve, hire a coach or if it's an addiction or therapeutic issue, get proper help. 

We all know the obvious, illegal and addictive ones, but don't forget the less obvious like chronic blaming, shaming, yelling, tantrums, manipulative pouting, gossiping, being chronically late or making others guess when our nasty stuff will show up.  It's up to each of us, to look at our own stuff and want to clean it up.  

So do you want to do some tossing?  Let's clean up our act and a nasty closet too while we're at it!

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Bad habit? Change It.

Do you have a little annoying habit you want to get rid of?
How about a BIG one that's really blocking your chance of a great life?

Pick something small to prove to yourself you can do it.
Better yet - choose something BIG and go for it! 

Either way the key is to start tomorrow - no excuses.

Get up 30 minutes earlier and create a plan for the day that will include what you WANT to do, what action will replace the bad habit.  Be specific.  Write down your plan or tell someone else or both.

At the end of the day, honor your effort, no matter if it felt easy, hard or you were only somewhat successful.  Commit to get up tomorrow and go for it again.  Don't forget to appreciate your efforts and success at the end of the day.  This will help your resolve the next morning.

Every habit was born from repeated actions.  They can ALL be undone!
Be brave and give yourself a great new habit starting right away.