Mind Germs

Hopefully most of us wash our hands after we've used the bathroom.  We have squirt bottles of germicide sitting in our offices and stay clear of homes that have someone with a contagious illness.  We'll go to great lengths from washing our food and the tops of aluminum cans to wiping down computer keyboards, steering wheels and doorknobs - and no, I'm not a germ-a-phoebe.

Why is it that we don't go to these lengths to avoid mind germs?  Why do we willingly allow networks to fill our brains with useless, negative news, real life stories full of misery and programs of fiction that reflect some of the worst of human behavior: sexual assaults, drug deals, murder, abandonment, cheating and so on - I bet you can name a TV show, fiction or nonfiction, for almost any awful scenario you can think of.  It's contagious!

When do we take the time to clean away the filth and horrors fed to us and the poison of gossip that we drink by the gallons?  If you could, would you wash your mind of these infectious germs?  Do you have a method that duplicates spritzing antibacterial gel on your hands? 

There are methods and they begin with choosing to be aware of what you are asking your mind to digest.  First and foremost, PAY ATTENTION to the shows you consume, books you devour and the conversations you participate in.  None of these are requirements.  We don't "have to" watch a show that features a brutal murder every episode.  We don't have to watch a news program that features one negative story after another, each with NO relevance to our life. . .  and we don't have to rationalize this behavior by telling ourselves that we won't have anything in common with our friends if we don't.  Your friends like YOU, not what programs you watch.

Homework: watch a network morning news program and count how many stories they share with you that are by their own admission "sad", "so sad", "disturbing" or "frightening."

Consider "the purpose" of what you consume more than the product.  When you question your own motives, it becomes simple to make a decision. 
"What is the purpose of spending my (precious) time on this?"  
"Why am I really doing this?"  

When the answer comes back, "I don't know", "Because I've always watched this", "Because my friends do", "Because I get a kick out of hearing gossip", "Because I'm bored and there's nothing else to do"- that's the proof you have been unconsciously consuming mind germs and because you don't realize you're consuming mind germs, you don't even bothering WASHING! (insert an "Ewww" here)

Mindfulness takes practice, but it's worth it.  Meditate, begin a spiritual practice (qigong, yoga, tai chi, prayer), promise yourself some germ free programing and see if you start to feel better, less stressed, and better rested.  You'll find that you are able to keep your own thoughts on positive solutions to challenges, rather than defaulting to irrational fears and chronic worry . . . now why might that be happening, hmmm?

Keeping the mind germs away takes the same daily, even hourly practice that developing a hand washing habit took when we were younger.  Eventually you won't go out in public without taking care of washing and that's best for you and everyone else too!

"Just for Fun" Love, Grammie

Tonight I find myself experiencing another loss with the passing of my Grandmother.  We called her Grammie or Gram - her name was Evelyn (Summerbell) Silbernagel. 

I spent most of the morning and afternoon feeling incredibly sad, but as the sun was setting I took a walk. As I wandered around the mesa, I took a deep breath and snapped into the moment - the sky was really beautiful: clear and crisp and I could see for miles.  I was reminded that the only moment that exists is the present.  The moment felt amazing and a wave of gratefulness washed over me - 56 years with my Gram is a good, long time.

As a child I was excited to go to her house, play at her house and didn't want to leave.  I was excited when she was coming to our house, loved going to Willowbrook mall with her and making fun of silly shoes, getting lunch at Friendly's and years later, visiting her at her cozy home in Florida.

I realized that all of those memories were just that, memories and that they would never change or go away.  What will change?  I won't receive a birthday card from her any more, but since she still didn't forget to send me one when she was 95, I think I've received plenty - actually more than plenty, each one with a positive message, encouraging me to "not work too hard" and to use the enclosed check for something special "just for fun."  I didn't always heed her advice, but I'm starting to understand her point.

I won't hear her voice chirp, "Hi Hon!" on the other end of the phone. "How are Greg and the boys?"  When I was young, every Thanksgiving was at her house, I loved her ham sandwiches and her house had a piano!  When I was grown up we shared coffee in the morning and wine before dinner.  She got me hooked on flavored creamers and a good glass of Chardonnay, but she never overdid anything - I mean not. a. thing.

I learned that it wasn't that Gram never worried about anything, but she rarely lingered.  She knew how to enjoy today and if it wasn't so great, then get up, do your work and make the best of the next one.  She enjoyed us all: 3 daughters, 8 grand children, 9 great grand children and 1 great-great.  I know she had her opinions, but I never felt judged by her - only accepted and supported, always.

So I choose to consider all of that in present tense, because although we won't make any new memories, there are more than plenty to remember.  Since she stayed to play on the earth for 95 years, I'll try not to be greedy because there won't be more.  I can think of her and smile anytime, just as I would when she was alive on the opposite side of the country. I used to say to my sons growing up, "don't be a more boy" and now I need to remind myself, that we don't need more of Gram - she gave us plenty and then some.

I realized on my walk that I don't feel less loved because Gram has passed on.  I feel all that ever was, which fills me up right now.  I lifted my head from the ground and looked out at the beautiful sunset and took in the moment and then the next and the next one after that.  When I got home, I didn't feel as sad.  I felt more connected to Gram's energy of living in each day and choosing to feel happy. 

I love my Gram right now and plan to in the next moment and the one after that.
Peace to my Grammie who is in nothing but love now (hopefully sipping wine) -