Please check this blog regarding the child abuse death of a young girl after parents follow the recommendations of the Pearls who run a church and wrote the book: To Train Up a Child
http://musemama.blogspot.com/2010/02/bring-back-boycott.html
I signed a petition asking Amazon not to sell this book. I know that is in itself controversial, but lots of people are buying this book of insanity. In my job I read weekly Child Protective Service report. It constantly amazes and saddens me what adults are willing to do to children.
Sunday, November 24, 2013
Saturday, October 12, 2013
School Reforms Ignore the Reality of Poverty
It's time I speak out about the notion that a educator working in a low socioeconomic district should be judged on their effectiveness to teach by the same criteria as an educator working with students from a middle class or wealthy community. The education "reformers" are playing into the hands of those looking for profits. This is about money, not student growth and achievement.
More than half the students from our district ride a bus to school, some more than an hour each way and part of the route is on a dirt road. Many walk or ride a mile and up to 10+ miles to get to the bus stop on poorly maintained roads not accessible after rain or snow storms. Their "school day" is 5am - 5pm, some longer if they have to stay after school. How is this the teacher's issue to overcome?
Some of these homes have neither electricity, nor running water. How many of the people writing the current education policies use an outhouse and can't take a shower or bath every day?
Most of our students are on Free and Reduced Lunch, which is code for below the poverty line. These students get a breakfast and lunch every day at school, but many return to a home with little to no food to eat or food that is of low nutritional value because that's all they can afford. Is food insecurity and poor nutrition not a barrier to brain development and learning?
We have children who miss school because their parents can't afford to wash their clothing or don't have fuel to drive to a laundry mat, can't afford medicine or to drive to a clinic.
Poverty, depression and the resulting substance use make for more domestic violence, sexual abuse and addiction than I care to write about here - it's high, you'd be sad. I stopped counting the number of students in our district with a family member in jail. I also stopped counting the number of children from single parent homes, but it's in the hundreds. Even those with two parents often don't have one or both greeting them when they get home because there are no jobs here, so the parents take work in other places and leave another relative or older sibling in charge. We have two and three families living in the same trailer or apartment to make ends meet and deal with childcare issues. Will their homework experience be the same as the 2.2 children-white-suburban-upper- middle class evening?
We have high ELL numbers and although I'm glad these children know their language, it's not a language that is easily translated to English - it's Navajo ... you know, the language that's so difficult it was used by our military because it couldn't be decoded by the enemy! (Thank you Navajo Code Talkers) It's a proud culture and a descriptive, visual language, but tough for the brain to switch back and forth. It takes time, but we don't get one more minute to educate this child than the one who's parents have graduate degrees and walls full of books.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that these students are not bright, talented and teachable - they are, but for people sitting in board rooms in Phoenix or Washington to assume that a teacher here will be able to move a student through a rote, standardized, heavy on the testing curriculum in the same manner and time frame as a student in Scottsdale, Arizona or Loudoun County, Virgina, is incomprehensible.
We're still working through bitter generational memories of forced boarding schools and broken promises. The Navajo unemployment rate is 42% and the medium household income is $20k. The graduation rate is 56% so we are feeling pretty good, but hardly complacent about a 70% graduation rate in our district. If we can't get it higher this year, we're failures? We don't need to be threatened by sanctions and labels to work hard to graduate everyone. We're educators; that's what we do. If we were looking for an easy way out, we would have pursed a better paying profession in the first place and we certainly would not have chosen to work in a community with so many challenges.
What is the motivation for veteran teachers to stay when they hear day in and day out that if they don't jump through 12 more hoops they're not worthy of a pay raise, perhaps even a job at all? How will communities dealing with the challenges of student poverty attract young talented educators? Why would anyone trying to make their living and define their worth in the world take the chance of working in our district when rubrics and data crunchers hundreds and thousands of miles away will judge their effectiveness?
If our teachers were afforded the time to spend building crucial relationships and offering additional support programs to our students instead of filling out endless paperwork and teaching to the mind numbing barrage of tests, we might be able to make more progress, but teachers are now told by politicians that they can't make their own decisions regarding the students that are sitting right in front of them. Others outside of the education profession are now making these decisions, thus making the actual teachers less effective, leading to stress and personal despair, burnout and droves of educators leaving the classroom for good.
I'm not prone to believing conspiracy theories, but on this one, the trend looks clear: less public educators (and more shaming of public educators) means more Charter Schools and more money for businesses that are invested in the "business" of education. Who's making a ton of money on education right now? The four companies that are creating the tests, the prep material for the tests and those running Charter School and school chains. (Over half the Charter Schools investigated by Reuters created "significant barriers" to enrollment for low income students.)
I'm committed to Support Services for our students. If we had more "wrap around" services and less judgmental legislators pushing bubble tests, we might have a shot at making a real educational difference to those from our surrounding communities. This gets controversial in America, because we prefer to say you're not trying hard enough, but if you've made it this far on my blog post, keep an open mind and read this.
It's one thing to try harder, but at what? Is it really the truth that our students don't try hard enough, nor do their teachers? Do we really believe that only teachers of poor children don't work hard enough? I'm a fan of effectiveness and what is being forced on educators and proposed as the Yellow Brick Road to prosperity is so disconnected from the reality of our classrooms that it's like reading fiction - except they're serious! Look underneath the finger pointing and you'll find profiteers making money by blaming teachers.
Education will not be fixed without taking a long hard look at inequity in America and dealing with our children growing up poor.
More than half the students from our district ride a bus to school, some more than an hour each way and part of the route is on a dirt road. Many walk or ride a mile and up to 10+ miles to get to the bus stop on poorly maintained roads not accessible after rain or snow storms. Their "school day" is 5am - 5pm, some longer if they have to stay after school. How is this the teacher's issue to overcome?
Some of these homes have neither electricity, nor running water. How many of the people writing the current education policies use an outhouse and can't take a shower or bath every day?
Most of our students are on Free and Reduced Lunch, which is code for below the poverty line. These students get a breakfast and lunch every day at school, but many return to a home with little to no food to eat or food that is of low nutritional value because that's all they can afford. Is food insecurity and poor nutrition not a barrier to brain development and learning?
We have children who miss school because their parents can't afford to wash their clothing or don't have fuel to drive to a laundry mat, can't afford medicine or to drive to a clinic.
Poverty, depression and the resulting substance use make for more domestic violence, sexual abuse and addiction than I care to write about here - it's high, you'd be sad. I stopped counting the number of students in our district with a family member in jail. I also stopped counting the number of children from single parent homes, but it's in the hundreds. Even those with two parents often don't have one or both greeting them when they get home because there are no jobs here, so the parents take work in other places and leave another relative or older sibling in charge. We have two and three families living in the same trailer or apartment to make ends meet and deal with childcare issues. Will their homework experience be the same as the 2.2 children-white-suburban-upper- middle class evening?
We have high ELL numbers and although I'm glad these children know their language, it's not a language that is easily translated to English - it's Navajo ... you know, the language that's so difficult it was used by our military because it couldn't be decoded by the enemy! (Thank you Navajo Code Talkers) It's a proud culture and a descriptive, visual language, but tough for the brain to switch back and forth. It takes time, but we don't get one more minute to educate this child than the one who's parents have graduate degrees and walls full of books.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that these students are not bright, talented and teachable - they are, but for people sitting in board rooms in Phoenix or Washington to assume that a teacher here will be able to move a student through a rote, standardized, heavy on the testing curriculum in the same manner and time frame as a student in Scottsdale, Arizona or Loudoun County, Virgina, is incomprehensible.
We're still working through bitter generational memories of forced boarding schools and broken promises. The Navajo unemployment rate is 42% and the medium household income is $20k. The graduation rate is 56% so we are feeling pretty good, but hardly complacent about a 70% graduation rate in our district. If we can't get it higher this year, we're failures? We don't need to be threatened by sanctions and labels to work hard to graduate everyone. We're educators; that's what we do. If we were looking for an easy way out, we would have pursed a better paying profession in the first place and we certainly would not have chosen to work in a community with so many challenges.
What is the motivation for veteran teachers to stay when they hear day in and day out that if they don't jump through 12 more hoops they're not worthy of a pay raise, perhaps even a job at all? How will communities dealing with the challenges of student poverty attract young talented educators? Why would anyone trying to make their living and define their worth in the world take the chance of working in our district when rubrics and data crunchers hundreds and thousands of miles away will judge their effectiveness?
If our teachers were afforded the time to spend building crucial relationships and offering additional support programs to our students instead of filling out endless paperwork and teaching to the mind numbing barrage of tests, we might be able to make more progress, but teachers are now told by politicians that they can't make their own decisions regarding the students that are sitting right in front of them. Others outside of the education profession are now making these decisions, thus making the actual teachers less effective, leading to stress and personal despair, burnout and droves of educators leaving the classroom for good.
I'm not prone to believing conspiracy theories, but on this one, the trend looks clear: less public educators (and more shaming of public educators) means more Charter Schools and more money for businesses that are invested in the "business" of education. Who's making a ton of money on education right now? The four companies that are creating the tests, the prep material for the tests and those running Charter School and school chains. (Over half the Charter Schools investigated by Reuters created "significant barriers" to enrollment for low income students.)
I'm committed to Support Services for our students. If we had more "wrap around" services and less judgmental legislators pushing bubble tests, we might have a shot at making a real educational difference to those from our surrounding communities. This gets controversial in America, because we prefer to say you're not trying hard enough, but if you've made it this far on my blog post, keep an open mind and read this.
It's one thing to try harder, but at what? Is it really the truth that our students don't try hard enough, nor do their teachers? Do we really believe that only teachers of poor children don't work hard enough? I'm a fan of effectiveness and what is being forced on educators and proposed as the Yellow Brick Road to prosperity is so disconnected from the reality of our classrooms that it's like reading fiction - except they're serious! Look underneath the finger pointing and you'll find profiteers making money by blaming teachers.
Education will not be fixed without taking a long hard look at inequity in America and dealing with our children growing up poor.
Saturday, September 7, 2013
Mind Germs
Hopefully most of us wash our hands after we've used the bathroom. We have squirt bottles of germicide sitting in our offices and stay clear of homes that have someone with a contagious illness. We'll go to great lengths from washing our food and the tops of aluminum cans to wiping down computer keyboards, steering wheels and doorknobs - and no, I'm not a germ-a-phoebe.
Why is it that we don't go to these lengths to avoid mind germs? Why do we willingly allow networks to fill our brains with useless, negative news, real life stories full of misery and programs of fiction that reflect some of the worst of human behavior: sexual assaults, drug deals, murder, abandonment, cheating and so on - I bet you can name a TV show, fiction or nonfiction, for almost any awful scenario you can think of. It's contagious!
When do we take the time to clean away the filth and horrors fed to us and the poison of gossip that we drink by the gallons? If you could, would you wash your mind of these infectious germs? Do you have a method that duplicates spritzing antibacterial gel on your hands?
There are methods and they begin with choosing to be aware of what you are asking your mind to digest. First and foremost, PAY ATTENTION to the shows you consume, books you devour and the conversations you participate in. None of these are requirements. We don't "have to" watch a show that features a brutal murder every episode. We don't have to watch a news program that features one negative story after another, each with NO relevance to our life. . . and we don't have to rationalize this behavior by telling ourselves that we won't have anything in common with our friends if we don't. Your friends like YOU, not what programs you watch.
Homework: watch a network morning news program and count how many stories they share with you that are by their own admission "sad", "so sad", "disturbing" or "frightening."
Consider "the purpose" of what you consume more than the product. When you question your own motives, it becomes simple to make a decision.
"What is the purpose of spending my (precious) time on this?"
"Why am I really doing this?"
When the answer comes back, "I don't know", "Because I've always watched this", "Because my friends do", "Because I get a kick out of hearing gossip", "Because I'm bored and there's nothing else to do"- that's the proof you have been unconsciously consuming mind germs and because you don't realize you're consuming mind germs, you don't even bothering WASHING! (insert an "Ewww" here)
Mindfulness takes practice, but it's worth it. Meditate, begin a spiritual practice (qigong, yoga, tai chi, prayer), promise yourself some germ free programing and see if you start to feel better, less stressed, and better rested. You'll find that you are able to keep your own thoughts on positive solutions to challenges, rather than defaulting to irrational fears and chronic worry . . . now why might that be happening, hmmm?
Keeping the mind germs away takes the same daily, even hourly practice that developing a hand washing habit took when we were younger. Eventually you won't go out in public without taking care of washing and that's best for you and everyone else too!
Why is it that we don't go to these lengths to avoid mind germs? Why do we willingly allow networks to fill our brains with useless, negative news, real life stories full of misery and programs of fiction that reflect some of the worst of human behavior: sexual assaults, drug deals, murder, abandonment, cheating and so on - I bet you can name a TV show, fiction or nonfiction, for almost any awful scenario you can think of. It's contagious!
When do we take the time to clean away the filth and horrors fed to us and the poison of gossip that we drink by the gallons? If you could, would you wash your mind of these infectious germs? Do you have a method that duplicates spritzing antibacterial gel on your hands?
There are methods and they begin with choosing to be aware of what you are asking your mind to digest. First and foremost, PAY ATTENTION to the shows you consume, books you devour and the conversations you participate in. None of these are requirements. We don't "have to" watch a show that features a brutal murder every episode. We don't have to watch a news program that features one negative story after another, each with NO relevance to our life. . . and we don't have to rationalize this behavior by telling ourselves that we won't have anything in common with our friends if we don't. Your friends like YOU, not what programs you watch.
Homework: watch a network morning news program and count how many stories they share with you that are by their own admission "sad", "so sad", "disturbing" or "frightening."
Consider "the purpose" of what you consume more than the product. When you question your own motives, it becomes simple to make a decision.
"What is the purpose of spending my (precious) time on this?"
"Why am I really doing this?"
When the answer comes back, "I don't know", "Because I've always watched this", "Because my friends do", "Because I get a kick out of hearing gossip", "Because I'm bored and there's nothing else to do"- that's the proof you have been unconsciously consuming mind germs and because you don't realize you're consuming mind germs, you don't even bothering WASHING! (insert an "Ewww" here)
Mindfulness takes practice, but it's worth it. Meditate, begin a spiritual practice (qigong, yoga, tai chi, prayer), promise yourself some germ free programing and see if you start to feel better, less stressed, and better rested. You'll find that you are able to keep your own thoughts on positive solutions to challenges, rather than defaulting to irrational fears and chronic worry . . . now why might that be happening, hmmm?
Keeping the mind germs away takes the same daily, even hourly practice that developing a hand washing habit took when we were younger. Eventually you won't go out in public without taking care of washing and that's best for you and everyone else too!
Sunday, August 25, 2013
To Be On Purpose
We've heard all our life, "You did that on purpose!" and of course it's not meant to be a compliment but rather an indictment.
Today we take "on purpose" off the list of indictments and place it by choice on our "To Do" list. To make a decision with and on purpose is to create an expectation for our future, which also implies the effort it will take to accomplish our purpose.
"Yes, I did that on purpose" can become our new motto, but it means commitment and we humans can be quite commitment-phobic. Discovering and realizing our purpose can be a mysterious journey, but it doesn't have to be. We all get plenty of "hits", messages or whatever you want to call those moments when you know you are meant to do something. Sometimes we listen and often we ignore the calls. Why? Because the request may appear in-congruent with our current lifestyle - or? . . . scare us because it requires a commitment!
Not to worry. We can change our minds.
Here's a place to start if you are lacking intuitive purpose messages:
Disclaimer #2: I am not endorsing the end of fun, because our purpose will include play, joy and love. However, many chase nothing but fun confusing it for purpose or passion. Remember, without commitment, it's probably short-lived or inherently without a point and therefore it will not ultimately satisfy our desire for purpose in our lives.
I hope the days ahead bring you the joy of purpose and that you are overheard saying, "Oh yes, I did that on purpose!"
Today we take "on purpose" off the list of indictments and place it by choice on our "To Do" list. To make a decision with and on purpose is to create an expectation for our future, which also implies the effort it will take to accomplish our purpose.
"Yes, I did that on purpose" can become our new motto, but it means commitment and we humans can be quite commitment-phobic. Discovering and realizing our purpose can be a mysterious journey, but it doesn't have to be. We all get plenty of "hits", messages or whatever you want to call those moments when you know you are meant to do something. Sometimes we listen and often we ignore the calls. Why? Because the request may appear in-congruent with our current lifestyle - or? . . . scare us because it requires a commitment!
Not to worry. We can change our minds.
Here's a place to start if you are lacking intuitive purpose messages:
- When asked to commit to something, ask "What's the purpose?"
- Even a simple, "What for?" will help you define your next step.
- Ask yourself these same questions and you will begin the culling process necessary to see your purpose path with increasing clarity.
- with no inherent purpose
- that apparently others understand the purpose but you do not
- that there is a stated purpose, but it does not agree with you (jams up your values)
- with a wandering or moving purpose, making it difficult to stay informed or clear about the point
- with one stated purpose, which is NOT the actual purpose but rather a smoke screen (if it feels manipulative, it probably is)
- others: _____________________ (feel free to fill in your own)
- feel energized by an idea or activity
- resonate with the intended purpose (stated by yourself or another)
- want to spend more time without regard for the effort or time involved
- feel like you already know strangers you meet while engaged in a new project or activity
- are compelled (or intrigued) to learn more
- smile and laugh a lot or have an overall feeling of satisfaction
- work hard or with fierce determination but it oddly doesn't feel like "work"
- other: _____________________ (feel free to add your own)
Disclaimer #2: I am not endorsing the end of fun, because our purpose will include play, joy and love. However, many chase nothing but fun confusing it for purpose or passion. Remember, without commitment, it's probably short-lived or inherently without a point and therefore it will not ultimately satisfy our desire for purpose in our lives.
I hope the days ahead bring you the joy of purpose and that you are overheard saying, "Oh yes, I did that on purpose!"
Monday, July 29, 2013
Extended Vacation
So I admit that 4 months off is stretching "extended vacation" a bit, but I feel the mojo coming returning.
Of course, I LOVE coaching and never tire of working with anyone interested in creating positive change in their life.
What else is on my rested mind?
Music and reading, "Melting" (http://www.meltmethod.com/), meditating, walking, shooing carbs and still trying to respect the healing power of sleep (a long term challenge).
Be good to yourself -
Of course, I LOVE coaching and never tire of working with anyone interested in creating positive change in their life.
What else is on my rested mind?
Music and reading, "Melting" (http://www.meltmethod.com/), meditating, walking, shooing carbs and still trying to respect the healing power of sleep (a long term challenge).
Be good to yourself -
Sunday, March 17, 2013
Traveling Our OWN Path
I was listening to Caroline Myss this morning on Oprah's Super Soul Sunday. What struck me was her description of being on or off our path. She insists that ever single person is here for a purpose but when we feel off our path (and suffering with that feeling) that we are not actually off the path, but rather we're managing poorly. I'm pondering this as I always thought of it as on or off the path. Her concept resonates as truer than mine.
"Managing" our own journey means we must make the decisions that are right for us. Of course it's fine to solicit support, read, study and listen, but ultimately, our choices are ours and the sooner we own that, the sooner we'll feel confident about the trajectory of our path - and listen to our intuitive voice. This can be tricky without practice, because the Ego's voice is noisy!
TRY:
Slow down your thoughts to tap into your intuition. (This will speed up with practice) Reflect on choices and own them.
When we suffer, it is a clear message that we are trying to force ourselves on a path that is not ours. If Myss is correct, we won't actually get to that other path, but merely slow the progress of our own. Is our path always there? I'm thinking "yes", but we must travel it, live on it, not just wish and dream about it.
HINT OF THE DAY:
One of the most seductive thought patterns is "that shouldn't have happened to me." The problem isn't the thought entering our consciousness, the destruction begins when we believe it!
Myss: "Who should that have happened to instead of you?"
GOING FORWARD:
Is our path something to search for? Let's consider for one whole week that we're already on it and all decisions, both small and large matter to the quality of that journey. Don't seek out, seek in. See how that works and let me know.
"Managing" our own journey means we must make the decisions that are right for us. Of course it's fine to solicit support, read, study and listen, but ultimately, our choices are ours and the sooner we own that, the sooner we'll feel confident about the trajectory of our path - and listen to our intuitive voice. This can be tricky without practice, because the Ego's voice is noisy!
TRY:
Slow down your thoughts to tap into your intuition. (This will speed up with practice) Reflect on choices and own them.
When we suffer, it is a clear message that we are trying to force ourselves on a path that is not ours. If Myss is correct, we won't actually get to that other path, but merely slow the progress of our own. Is our path always there? I'm thinking "yes", but we must travel it, live on it, not just wish and dream about it.
HINT OF THE DAY:
One of the most seductive thought patterns is "that shouldn't have happened to me." The problem isn't the thought entering our consciousness, the destruction begins when we believe it!
Myss: "Who should that have happened to instead of you?"
GOING FORWARD:
Is our path something to search for? Let's consider for one whole week that we're already on it and all decisions, both small and large matter to the quality of that journey. Don't seek out, seek in. See how that works and let me know.
Thursday, February 28, 2013
Belief Without Compassion
This is an email from Jonathan Fields. I follow his blog and watch his Good Life videos when he posts new interviews. This post resonated with me and I hope it is meaningful to you as well:
BELIEF WITHOUT COMPASSION
BELIEF WITHOUT COMPASSION
Something interesting went down yesterday...
A major revelation by a public figure, Alex Jamieson, followed by a
heated, sometimes respectful, other times vicious conversation. And it
all went down through a combination of this week's Good Life Project
episode and my guest's blog.
Alex
burst onto the public consciousness in 2004 as the co-creator and
co-star in the Oscar-nominated documentary Super Size Me. The movie
tracked what happened to her then boyfriend, Morgan Spurlock, after
eating only McDonald's for 30 straight days and super-sizing his order
every time he was asked to.
At the time, Alex was a vegan chef and educator, which made watching
Morgan's spiral into health hell all the more difficult for her to
watch. Once the experiment wrapped, she nursed him back to health with a
vegan diet. She, in fact, had turned to veganism a number of years
earlier as a way to heal her own medical problems.
With her new-found notoriety, Alex became a strong voice in the movement
to live and eat more consciously and, because it had worked for her,
that included being vegan. She's also always been incredibly open to
other points of view and compassionate and accepting of those who choose
different approaches to life and nutrition. This willingness to take
people as they are allowed Alex to resonate with and help a lot of
people. To meet then where they were.
But, for the last few years, she'd also been harboring a secret...
She was no longer vegan. Her body, she increasingly felt, was better
served with a more mixed approach that included animal protein. She
began eating meat again, always trying to do it in the most humane way
possible. And her body and health responded well.
Problem
was, she'd built her reputation and business around not just healthy
living, but the vegan lifestyle. So, she knew "going public" with her
evolution would cause not only personal upset among the vegan community,
but also have a potential and real impact on the way she earned her
living. And as a working mom, that's a scary thought.
So, she stayed quiet, until yesterday...
She'd
finally reached a point where she felt she needed to step into her
evolved reality and own it, no matter what the consequence.
Yesterday
morning, I featured her in this week's episode of Good Life Project. We
discussed her decision, along with a lot of other topics, in-depth. At
the same time, Alex published a long post explaining why she was
changing her approach. And she asked and hoped for compassion and
understanding.
You can watch this episode over at Good Life Project or
if you'd rather listen, just subscribe to GLP and you'll get instant
access to the mp3 vault where can download and listen instead.
It
was, in many ways, representative of the intense polarity that comes
from unwavering belief in an ideology. It reminded me of the climate in
Washington these days. Save one big difference. In the end, the voice of
compassion seemed to vastly outweigh the voice of judgment.
On one side stood those steeped in vegan orthodoxy, fueled not just by
the quest for health, but humane, compassionate treatment of animals.
Noble to the core, 100% committed to the cause. To them, there was only
black or white. Compassion to people or, depending on the research you
follow, nutritional science, plays a back seat to the rights to animals.
On the other side were those who believed in the vegan lifestyle for
themselves, but also exalted the good Alex has brought into the world
and were willing to extend compassion to her and openness to her choice
to do what felt right for her, even if they'd have made a different
choice. And, then there were those who'd made the same choice as Alex,
but had been hiding the closet for years out of fear of being shunned.
This
post is not about veganism or the ethics of eating meat though. I take
no position there. It's about something much bigger. Something that
affects every person, every day in every way.
It's about how people driven by
deeply-rooted beliefs behave toward others who are either non-believers
or, worse, who've walked away from the faith.
I am troubled by the potential pain caused by action fueled by belief without compassion.
Belief
in ideas, causes, movements and ideologies can be empowering. It can
connect you with a likeminded community. I can pull you out of darkness
and give you direction. Rules to live by, tools and support to better
handle the uncertainty of life.
But
without compassion, especially for those outside the sphere of belief,
there is no understanding. No ability to see or honor humanity within
the context of conversation. There is no opportunity for connection with
good people who see the world differently. There is no window for
learning, for insight, for wisdom or evolution. There is no place for
respect, openness, tolerance or love. There is only martial law. Obey or
be shunned. Judged. Outcast. Jailed. Or worse.
It's that way in nearly every form of intense belief. The entry levels
begin with a blend of belief and compassion. Because it's easier to come
to a set of beliefs and move into a community when there's an openness
to where you're coming from. But the deeper down the orthodoxy hole you
go, not infrequently, compassion cedes to absolute application of rule
of law. Black or white. In or out. And if you're out, you're not just
out, your not human any more. Not a brother or sister.
That scares me. Saddens me. Because, fundamentally, it tears apart a
world that needs so much coming together. It fragments and silos people
into tribes, driven by intolerance and disconnection beyond the bounds
of the tribe. It depreciates and isolates the human condition at a time
when our ability to connect with, honor and treasure others is our
greatest tool for evolution, progress and peace.
Believe
what you will. But lean into your beliefs through the lens of
compassion. You don't have to agree with non-believers, but when you
dismiss their humanity, you destroy your own.
As always, I'm just thinking out loud here. Open to others' points of view. Willing to stand in your shoes.
So, what say you on this topic?
And if the ideas here resonate, feel free to forward this email to a friend.
With gratitude,
Jonathan
Wednesday, February 20, 2013
Building the Mindfulness Muscle
Closing the gap between the realized self and higher self takes mindfulness. When we take a few precious moments to reflect, we can usually hone in on who we are and what feels true. The choice becomes obvious, the words we couldn't find in the moment come rushing in - "oh why couldn't I think to say that at the time!" "I wish I had offered to help."
Don't beat yourself up; this happens to everyone. The key is to take time to reflect. When we use the mindfulness muscle, it grows stronger. As we take the time to consider what happened and how we reacted or responded, the gap between what we do and what we want to do becomes smaller. The time delay literally will shrink until you are actually reflecting in real time - magic!
I call this the condensing phenomenon. Like sliding the zoom on your phone camera, events come into focus and our ability to respond as we aspire to be is enhanced. Practice connecting to your higher self - you know that one that knows how to act, what to say and who he or she wants to be. Reflect on the events and conversations of a day and remember:
1) Don't spend this time beating yourself up for what you should have said or done. What you really wanted to say or do is already in your consciousness; it's just been covered up (for any number of reasons)
2) Give yourself credit for taking the time to reflect.
3) Remind yourself that you will have more opportunities to externalize your essential self. Look forward to another chance; stay optimistic that you will be in the "real you" zone soon.
You'll sometimes feel a bit frustrated with yourself, but remember to notice not judge. It is an essential process to getting yourself on point. Your reflections will begin to condense to happening closer to your behavior and for shorter amounts of time. In other words, this will feel like a homework assignment and you may feel sluggish at first, but as you practice, it will feel more like having an easy catch and toss with a friend; eventually just a quick change of stations like changing the dial on a radio and then finally, a "yes, that means this to me" and the real you comes through. You'll know when this happens. Reflect on that as well. Keep Noticing. This is mindfulness.
I'll discuss the perks of getting this in another post soon.
Don't beat yourself up; this happens to everyone. The key is to take time to reflect. When we use the mindfulness muscle, it grows stronger. As we take the time to consider what happened and how we reacted or responded, the gap between what we do and what we want to do becomes smaller. The time delay literally will shrink until you are actually reflecting in real time - magic!
I call this the condensing phenomenon. Like sliding the zoom on your phone camera, events come into focus and our ability to respond as we aspire to be is enhanced. Practice connecting to your higher self - you know that one that knows how to act, what to say and who he or she wants to be. Reflect on the events and conversations of a day and remember:
1) Don't spend this time beating yourself up for what you should have said or done. What you really wanted to say or do is already in your consciousness; it's just been covered up (for any number of reasons)
2) Give yourself credit for taking the time to reflect.
3) Remind yourself that you will have more opportunities to externalize your essential self. Look forward to another chance; stay optimistic that you will be in the "real you" zone soon.
You'll sometimes feel a bit frustrated with yourself, but remember to notice not judge. It is an essential process to getting yourself on point. Your reflections will begin to condense to happening closer to your behavior and for shorter amounts of time. In other words, this will feel like a homework assignment and you may feel sluggish at first, but as you practice, it will feel more like having an easy catch and toss with a friend; eventually just a quick change of stations like changing the dial on a radio and then finally, a "yes, that means this to me" and the real you comes through. You'll know when this happens. Reflect on that as well. Keep Noticing. This is mindfulness.
I'll discuss the perks of getting this in another post soon.
Tuesday, January 29, 2013
Man Prayer video
Love this so much, that I had to add it to my blog:
Feminine energy awakening in our men is not a sign of weakness, but a sign of hope -
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=nj7Zw4P8LPo
Feminine energy awakening in our men is not a sign of weakness, but a sign of hope -
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=nj7Zw4P8LPo
Sunday, January 27, 2013
"These Solutions Can't Possibly Be the Solutions"
This resonates with me, not just because I'm a woman, but because I can't wrap my mind, and more likely my heart, around creating a better world through violence. I'm not anti-male. I love the men in my life, but believe we must demand and create balance going forward. Our country is 51% female, but this is rarely reflected on any decision-making boards of anything (PTA exemption here.) Woman are primarily considered as consumers; consumers of necessities and consumers of the non-essential. Are we contributing to debates, corporations, laws, policies, media and modern ethics? If the feminine voice was not only added for equity, but "honored" as a sacred and essential presence, might our country have a different look and feel one day?
We've become comfortable in our physical world, but sadly accustomed to hearing horrific news. I wonder what if anything will shake us from our complacency. Would we need to lock ourselves behind barred windows with our weapons and our treasures if we created compassionate responses to those suffering from neglect, abandonment, hunger, as well as physical and mental challenges?
Ok, enough questions! I know my answers and I encourage you to leave your responses in the comments below.
I will coach for peaceful, loving solutions. I'll coach those who are now and aspire to be powerfully compassionate leaders, those in need of the courage to raise their voice for justice and equality. I'll coach those aching to make a difference because our children deserve better than what we're handing them today.
I am a coach for compassionate change. For now, that will be my contribution to new solutions.
I welcome those who are interested in being coached to create compassionate change to message me on my Facebook page: http://www.facebook.com/CoachWSolutions
Sunday, January 13, 2013
PAY ATTENTION! Firing and Wiring
Today I asked my muse to make sense of some of the seemingly unrelated material I have read, watched and thought about lately. Here goes -
I was watching a video and reading articles on the Nicabm site (National Institute for the Clinical Application of Behavioral Medicine) and I became curious about Daniel Siegel's thoughts on paying attention. This topic always interests me as an educator, coach and - well, a person. Would you agree that paying attention can improve the quality of all sorts of activities, including friendships and family relations? I find this to be true, although plenty of people are willing to excuse others for not paying attention to them. Perhaps this is a "gimmie" so we'll be excused when we need one.
Siegel made it simple in his video: "Neurons that fire together, wire together." We have daily opportunities to change our brains neurologically, if we'll concentrate long enough to allow our neurological system to respond to the content we are inputting. Focusing everyday on what we say is important to us, how we prefer to behave and how and to what we respond to is a discipline that brain craves for growth.
Not only does this have personal implications, but as a leader of teams or musical ensembles, it could mean that getting everyone to pay attention simultaneously and consistently will change the dynamics of the entire team going forward. It makes sense that creating some similar wiring affords us better odds that we will move in concert. (Please) PAY ATTENTION, therefore, becomes more than just a request for obedience, but a call for mutual understanding.
That takes me to another current thought, which does apparently connect to the first: the overemphasis and demand for obedience, especially in our schools. Sucking off the tit of obedience for thirteen years will not create the strong brain wiring necessary to navigate our complicated 21st century world, but paying attention will. This may sound like semantics, but I advocate we motivate students (or team members) to pay attention rather than demanding obedience. We must give our students compelling reasons to focus their precious attention, creating relevance and constant connections for strong brain synapses. The case for obedience "so they'll get what we're teaching" is weak. We all know we can appear obedient without actually engaging. (Quiet does not equal learning.)
So that's a bit of thought congealing from me today - along with watching Streisand phone one in on her new movie Guilt Trip; although my brain couldn't retain the title 24 hours later and I had to look it up (inject obvious reason here: ______) Football? Yes, that too. I think the Packers defense could have payed more attention to the SF quarterback running at will all over the field.
From my brain wiring to yours, I leave you with: Let's Pay Attention - our brains are counting on us!
I was watching a video and reading articles on the Nicabm site (National Institute for the Clinical Application of Behavioral Medicine) and I became curious about Daniel Siegel's thoughts on paying attention. This topic always interests me as an educator, coach and - well, a person. Would you agree that paying attention can improve the quality of all sorts of activities, including friendships and family relations? I find this to be true, although plenty of people are willing to excuse others for not paying attention to them. Perhaps this is a "gimmie" so we'll be excused when we need one.
Siegel made it simple in his video: "Neurons that fire together, wire together." We have daily opportunities to change our brains neurologically, if we'll concentrate long enough to allow our neurological system to respond to the content we are inputting. Focusing everyday on what we say is important to us, how we prefer to behave and how and to what we respond to is a discipline that brain craves for growth.
Not only does this have personal implications, but as a leader of teams or musical ensembles, it could mean that getting everyone to pay attention simultaneously and consistently will change the dynamics of the entire team going forward. It makes sense that creating some similar wiring affords us better odds that we will move in concert. (Please) PAY ATTENTION, therefore, becomes more than just a request for obedience, but a call for mutual understanding.
That takes me to another current thought, which does apparently connect to the first: the overemphasis and demand for obedience, especially in our schools. Sucking off the tit of obedience for thirteen years will not create the strong brain wiring necessary to navigate our complicated 21st century world, but paying attention will. This may sound like semantics, but I advocate we motivate students (or team members) to pay attention rather than demanding obedience. We must give our students compelling reasons to focus their precious attention, creating relevance and constant connections for strong brain synapses. The case for obedience "so they'll get what we're teaching" is weak. We all know we can appear obedient without actually engaging. (Quiet does not equal learning.)
So that's a bit of thought congealing from me today - along with watching Streisand phone one in on her new movie Guilt Trip; although my brain couldn't retain the title 24 hours later and I had to look it up (inject obvious reason here: ______) Football? Yes, that too. I think the Packers defense could have payed more attention to the SF quarterback running at will all over the field.
From my brain wiring to yours, I leave you with: Let's Pay Attention - our brains are counting on us!
Friday, January 4, 2013
Change is Inevitable and So Are We
Well it's been a while since I've been on here blogging. I thought I would blog twice a week or at least once for a good long time, but after I lost my Grandma, I lost my mojo and then the holidays hit. I don't think I'm letting lots of people down, but this was an exercise in communicating that I promised to myself, so I'm back. My holiday vacation is almost over and so is my blogging break.
What I want to discuss today is growth. NPR recently featured the work of Daniel Gilbert from Harvard who became curious about why we think we will be essentially the same person tomorrow or even 10 years from now. The fact is, we almost all change and more than we ever predict. For some reason, we keep thinking that although we can recognize that we have grown up, grown wiser, more patient, etc., we usually consider where we are right now to be the pinnacle of that growth and rarely predict much, if any, further growth.
So I thought about this and it is much easier to reflect and accept the changes in ourselves than predict what we will become. What I can consider however, is what I am aspiring to be and although there are lots of wishes and things I could put on a list, the essence of what I aspire to change in my future is being connected to my source and love on a daily basis; to stay grounded to my best self and avoid reacting to pointless drama.
I don't want to just believe in nonviolence, I want to be an active participant in helping others steer away from verbal and physical violence as the answer to their problems. I don't want to just give to the Brady campaign for reasonable gun laws, I want to participate in the process that will bring an end to senseless firearm deaths. I don't want to just hope that more women get involved in state and national politics, I want to participate in them getting elected. I don't think it's unreasonable to want our children to have food to eat everyday, access to health care and a safe and productive education.
I expect and plan to "grow" into these issues so when I look back in ten years, I will be different than I am today . . . and according to Daniel Gilbert, I shouldn't be surprised. What will I have to change in myself to realize these changes? I will have to say "yes" to growth opportunities and "no" to the safety of the predictable. I expect more time management discipline of myself. I pray for more compassionate responses, creativity and less mind-wandering. I expect to take my life seriously AND remember to have more fun (that one's for Gram.)
How have you changed in the last 10 years? What do you expect of yourself in the next ten?
What I want to discuss today is growth. NPR recently featured the work of Daniel Gilbert from Harvard who became curious about why we think we will be essentially the same person tomorrow or even 10 years from now. The fact is, we almost all change and more than we ever predict. For some reason, we keep thinking that although we can recognize that we have grown up, grown wiser, more patient, etc., we usually consider where we are right now to be the pinnacle of that growth and rarely predict much, if any, further growth.
So I thought about this and it is much easier to reflect and accept the changes in ourselves than predict what we will become. What I can consider however, is what I am aspiring to be and although there are lots of wishes and things I could put on a list, the essence of what I aspire to change in my future is being connected to my source and love on a daily basis; to stay grounded to my best self and avoid reacting to pointless drama.
I don't want to just believe in nonviolence, I want to be an active participant in helping others steer away from verbal and physical violence as the answer to their problems. I don't want to just give to the Brady campaign for reasonable gun laws, I want to participate in the process that will bring an end to senseless firearm deaths. I don't want to just hope that more women get involved in state and national politics, I want to participate in them getting elected. I don't think it's unreasonable to want our children to have food to eat everyday, access to health care and a safe and productive education.
I expect and plan to "grow" into these issues so when I look back in ten years, I will be different than I am today . . . and according to Daniel Gilbert, I shouldn't be surprised. What will I have to change in myself to realize these changes? I will have to say "yes" to growth opportunities and "no" to the safety of the predictable. I expect more time management discipline of myself. I pray for more compassionate responses, creativity and less mind-wandering. I expect to take my life seriously AND remember to have more fun (that one's for Gram.)
How have you changed in the last 10 years? What do you expect of yourself in the next ten?
Wednesday, December 5, 2012
"Just for Fun" Love, Grammie
Tonight I find myself experiencing another loss with the passing of my Grandmother. We called her Grammie or Gram - her name was Evelyn (Summerbell) Silbernagel.
I spent most of the morning and afternoon feeling incredibly sad, but as the sun was setting I took a walk. As I wandered around the mesa, I took a deep breath and snapped into the moment - the sky was really beautiful: clear and crisp and I could see for miles. I was reminded that the only moment that exists is the present. The moment felt amazing and a wave of gratefulness washed over me - 56 years with my Gram is a good, long time.
As a child I was excited to go to her house, play at her house and didn't want to leave. I was excited when she was coming to our house, loved going to Willowbrook mall with her and making fun of silly shoes, getting lunch at Friendly's and years later, visiting her at her cozy home in Florida.
I realized that all of those memories were just that, memories and that they would never change or go away. What will change? I won't receive a birthday card from her any more, but since she still didn't forget to send me one when she was 95, I think I've received plenty - actually more than plenty, each one with a positive message, encouraging me to "not work too hard" and to use the enclosed check for something special "just for fun." I didn't always heed her advice, but I'm starting to understand her point.
I won't hear her voice chirp, "Hi Hon!" on the other end of the phone. "How are Greg and the boys?" When I was young, every Thanksgiving was at her house, I loved her ham sandwiches and her house had a piano! When I was grown up we shared coffee in the morning and wine before dinner. She got me hooked on flavored creamers and a good glass of Chardonnay, but she never overdid anything - I mean not. a. thing.
I learned that it wasn't that Gram never worried about anything, but she rarely lingered. She knew how to enjoy today and if it wasn't so great, then get up, do your work and make the best of the next one. She enjoyed us all: 3 daughters, 8 grand children, 9 great grand children and 1 great-great. I know she had her opinions, but I never felt judged by her - only accepted and supported, always.
So I choose to consider all of that in present tense, because although we won't make any new memories, there are more than plenty to remember. Since she stayed to play on the earth for 95 years, I'll try not to be greedy because there won't be more. I can think of her and smile anytime, just as I would when she was alive on the opposite side of the country. I used to say to my sons growing up, "don't be a more boy" and now I need to remind myself, that we don't need more of Gram - she gave us plenty and then some.
I realized on my walk that I don't feel less loved because Gram has passed on. I feel all that ever was, which fills me up right now. I lifted my head from the ground and looked out at the beautiful sunset and took in the moment and then the next and the next one after that. When I got home, I didn't feel as sad. I felt more connected to Gram's energy of living in each day and choosing to feel happy.
I love my Gram right now and plan to in the next moment and the one after that.
Peace to my Grammie who is in nothing but love now (hopefully sipping wine) -
I spent most of the morning and afternoon feeling incredibly sad, but as the sun was setting I took a walk. As I wandered around the mesa, I took a deep breath and snapped into the moment - the sky was really beautiful: clear and crisp and I could see for miles. I was reminded that the only moment that exists is the present. The moment felt amazing and a wave of gratefulness washed over me - 56 years with my Gram is a good, long time.
As a child I was excited to go to her house, play at her house and didn't want to leave. I was excited when she was coming to our house, loved going to Willowbrook mall with her and making fun of silly shoes, getting lunch at Friendly's and years later, visiting her at her cozy home in Florida.
I realized that all of those memories were just that, memories and that they would never change or go away. What will change? I won't receive a birthday card from her any more, but since she still didn't forget to send me one when she was 95, I think I've received plenty - actually more than plenty, each one with a positive message, encouraging me to "not work too hard" and to use the enclosed check for something special "just for fun." I didn't always heed her advice, but I'm starting to understand her point.
I won't hear her voice chirp, "Hi Hon!" on the other end of the phone. "How are Greg and the boys?" When I was young, every Thanksgiving was at her house, I loved her ham sandwiches and her house had a piano! When I was grown up we shared coffee in the morning and wine before dinner. She got me hooked on flavored creamers and a good glass of Chardonnay, but she never overdid anything - I mean not. a. thing.
I learned that it wasn't that Gram never worried about anything, but she rarely lingered. She knew how to enjoy today and if it wasn't so great, then get up, do your work and make the best of the next one. She enjoyed us all: 3 daughters, 8 grand children, 9 great grand children and 1 great-great. I know she had her opinions, but I never felt judged by her - only accepted and supported, always.
So I choose to consider all of that in present tense, because although we won't make any new memories, there are more than plenty to remember. Since she stayed to play on the earth for 95 years, I'll try not to be greedy because there won't be more. I can think of her and smile anytime, just as I would when she was alive on the opposite side of the country. I used to say to my sons growing up, "don't be a more boy" and now I need to remind myself, that we don't need more of Gram - she gave us plenty and then some.
I realized on my walk that I don't feel less loved because Gram has passed on. I feel all that ever was, which fills me up right now. I lifted my head from the ground and looked out at the beautiful sunset and took in the moment and then the next and the next one after that. When I got home, I didn't feel as sad. I felt more connected to Gram's energy of living in each day and choosing to feel happy.
I love my Gram right now and plan to in the next moment and the one after that.
Peace to my Grammie who is in nothing but love now (hopefully sipping wine) -
Sunday, December 2, 2012
We Can All Be One
On the floor, we painted a student inspired 1* and at the time, none of knew why, but just as an * usually means to look further down the page for further information, now I am wondering if our * was about more than we realized at the time.
At a rehearsal that year, I saw a member of our drumline struggling with a passage. She kept trying to make her hands do what she could hear in her head, but was getting frustrated. I felt for her as we could all see that she was giving it her best effort and knew she was practicing like mad outside of rehearsals. In an effort to calm her down I said, "Don't get down on yourself. It may not happen in one day, but one day it will happen."
The next day, another member had written on our white board: "It may not happen in ONE day, but ONE day it will happen - S. Woodard". I thought at first, "did I say that?" and then I remembered the rehearsal from the previous day. We discussed that this could be a cool phrase for our season since our show was titled ONE. I found a good spot to insert this into our show and not long after that added what would become the closer of our show: "We can all be one." It was a pretty organic process and just sounded good at the time.
We had a great ride that year. It was a talented group, playing well-written music (brag moment: composed by my son) and we worked very hard to bring the music and message to life in each performance. When we got to the national championships, everything became surreal as our little group from Arizona was squarely in position to win it all and ONE won.
Why am I writing about this 7 years later? Because tonight I couldn't stop thinking about how our message resonated with our audiences and the judges too. It was a joyful, uplifting show, that ended with the group chanting, "I am one, you are one . . . we can all be one!" No one in the group or outside the group ever challenged the meaning of the chant. I find this interesting to contemplate now, as I know plenty of people who do not believe this message can happen and others who don't even want it to happen.
Is it possible on some other level beyond consciousness, cultural norms, upbringing, environments and such, that we do understand that we are all one? Science now knows that there are 3 million bases in our DNA and that 99% of those are identical in all humans! Isn't that amazing? 99% of 3 million - that's a lot of shared DNA.
Wouldn't it be amazing if we behaved like we understood this? What if we realized how alike we are despite our obvious (1%) differences? Could we continue condemning and harming human beings that are 99% the same as ourselves? Many in the consciousness movement don't believe that December 21, 2012 is the end of the world, but rather our rebirth into this very understanding.
Perhaps our 2005 show was our small taste of what could be. Perhaps we should have shouted, "I am ONE, You are ONE . . .
*We - ARE - ONE!"
Shout out to the staff and members of the 2005 Page High School Indoor Percussion program. It was a forever memory.
Wednesday, November 28, 2012
See Jane Lead. Lead Jane, Lead.
I've been in the field of education for decades and although there are plenty of woman teachers, inequity exits when it comes to administration aka leadership. Let me pause on this for a moment because although there is a preponderance of women in the classrooms, the percentages skew heavily towards men in the top decision-making positions.
What's wrong with this picture? The problem is a reliance on a male-dominated leadership model which creates imbalance. Schools are recreating the male-dominated court system, suspending students at an alarming rate - currently described in many articles as the "pipeline to prison" phenomenon. A relentless linear approach to curriculum and test-taking models are demoralizing and chasing off many of our best and brightest teachers (this would be more women since they are over-represented at the instruction level).
My point is not to be anti-male; it's to be for equity and balance. Woman shouldn't replace all men in educational leadership positions, rather we should be at the same table, in the same meetings, leading side by side with male administrators. Woman are under represented at both the state and national levels in both education and politics. The focus must be on adding more woman to leadership positions so female values can be voiced along side the masculine.
Once at a youth leadership workshop a 15 year old male student angrily yelled at me that I was teaching everyone to "be a girl, not a leader." His justification for his outburst was that his father had taught him what a leader was and "compromise and listening isn't how it's done! That's weak! You're teaching us to be weak." There were a few tense minutes but it gave us a good place to start discussing why a female leadership instructor might be sharing the topics I was covering. I didn't sway my young participant, but there was a healthy, vibrant discussion with many young men in the group agreeing there was the need for the qualities of strength and power along side listening, compromise and agreement. I like to think the young women left pleased and the men (minus one) gave themselves points for considering.
Creating equity and balance will require embracing new models of leadership that value feminine traits. Traits that are not just considered my men, but are embraced by woman. We dominate the numbers in education, yet apply for the top education positions in smaller numbers. We are 51% of the population, yet run for office less often. It's time to value our own strengths in order to be taken seriously as leaders of our youth, leaders of our states and leaders of our nation. Lead Jane, Lead!
If you agree or disagree, I hope you'll leave a comment or go to my Facebook page and send me a message: http://www.facebook.com/CoachWSolutions
graph from 2012 Harvard Kennedy School Review
What's wrong with this picture? The problem is a reliance on a male-dominated leadership model which creates imbalance. Schools are recreating the male-dominated court system, suspending students at an alarming rate - currently described in many articles as the "pipeline to prison" phenomenon. A relentless linear approach to curriculum and test-taking models are demoralizing and chasing off many of our best and brightest teachers (this would be more women since they are over-represented at the instruction level).
My point is not to be anti-male; it's to be for equity and balance. Woman shouldn't replace all men in educational leadership positions, rather we should be at the same table, in the same meetings, leading side by side with male administrators. Woman are under represented at both the state and national levels in both education and politics. The focus must be on adding more woman to leadership positions so female values can be voiced along side the masculine.
Once at a youth leadership workshop a 15 year old male student angrily yelled at me that I was teaching everyone to "be a girl, not a leader." His justification for his outburst was that his father had taught him what a leader was and "compromise and listening isn't how it's done! That's weak! You're teaching us to be weak." There were a few tense minutes but it gave us a good place to start discussing why a female leadership instructor might be sharing the topics I was covering. I didn't sway my young participant, but there was a healthy, vibrant discussion with many young men in the group agreeing there was the need for the qualities of strength and power along side listening, compromise and agreement. I like to think the young women left pleased and the men (minus one) gave themselves points for considering.
Creating equity and balance will require embracing new models of leadership that value feminine traits. Traits that are not just considered my men, but are embraced by woman. We dominate the numbers in education, yet apply for the top education positions in smaller numbers. We are 51% of the population, yet run for office less often. It's time to value our own strengths in order to be taken seriously as leaders of our youth, leaders of our states and leaders of our nation. Lead Jane, Lead!
If you agree or disagree, I hope you'll leave a comment or go to my Facebook page and send me a message: http://www.facebook.com/CoachWSolutions
graph from 2012 Harvard Kennedy School Review
Friday, November 23, 2012
First Responders Don't Sign Petitions
When a fire is discovered and the call for help comes in, a fireman's first thought is not to sign a petition or join a protest against the fire, he or she doesn't wait for a committee to decide if the folks in danger deserve help . . . they just help. First Responders take their intense training, proper gear and go into action.
Arriving at a scene, intense, rapid evaluation occurs - the debating of procedures and policies is done well before and after the act of saving lives:
> If at all possible and even at their own peril, they make every effort to save all lives - humans and animals. Someone they save might very well have contributed to the reason for the fire or caused it to grow larger. No matter, there's time for those considerations later.
2. AFTER everyone is safe, they methodically extinguish the fire, thus eradicating the current danger.
3. Later there will be clean up, investigations and perhaps reflection.
What if we considered ourselves First Responders and trusted a team behind us to consider the reasons for the issue after the saving was done? What might this look like for starving children or citizens without a home?
Can we save lives FIRST and evaluate later? Are we saving a life today with a petition? We consider First Responders to be our most courageous citizens. At this time in history, perhaps we add to our definition of courageous acts in order to expand who may hear the voice on the other end of the phone saying, "911, what is your emergency?" and "help is on the way."
http://www.facebook.com/CoachWSolutions
Image by © David Woods/CORBIS
Wednesday, November 14, 2012
There's No Title IX in Politics
There was plenty going on at the Sister Giant conference this past weekend and one of many resonating points for me was this Jane Lynch quote:
"If we don't take a seat at the table -
we're probably on the menu"
Yes I know, large font, very dramatic, but did it get your attention? It got mine. We women can talk about issues or we can be a part of the solutions. I prefer solving problems. No worries - there will still be time to drink wine.
A consistent Sister Giant theme was in order to create balance on what issues are being addressed by our elected officials, how they are being addressed and why they are being addressed, more woman must be involved in the discussions, the debates and most importantly - the votes! It's not a man problem that they don't understand the feminine perspective, it's a woman problem that not enough of us are engaged in the process. Statistically, woman are elected to office at the same rate as men . . . but sadly, way less women run for office.
Ladies - we can come up with all kinds of excuses for why we don't run - the one that rises to the top for me and probably many of you is: politics are mean and nasty! I'd rather go volunteer somewhere with other women, where everyone will be nice and smile. We feel good about giving our time and perhaps some money, we're glad to see each other and then go home without watching something awful about us on the nightly news. You know, nice.
Well the tenor and tone of a campaign or political debate is exactly my point. If more women run smart campaigns and refuse to play in the gutter, refuse to put on the cliche armor and head into battle, perhaps some day "dirty politics" will be a phrase from the past. Perhaps sometime soon, there will be a 50-50 gender percentage at the state and federal level. As it stands now, even after a record year for woman winning nation wide, we are only 20% of the total seats at the table - but woman are 51% of the population! We can change how a campaign is run and we can change what is being addressed, but we can't do it from our couch.
I've been the idealist saying, gender doesn't matter, beliefs and thoughts do. To some extent, that's true as all woman don't agree on all issues, but when it comes to issues that directly relate to woman and children, woman are much more likely to agree or at the very least engage in a discussion. Maybe it's the womb factor.
We need balance in all things and our politics should be no different. We've had Title IX in our schools for over 40 years so girls would be given equal chances to play competitive sports. Well in the BIG game, we're not going to be given a Varsity Girl's Politics Team - we're going to have to play on the co-ed team. We're going to have to run savvy campaigns, not to beat someone else, but to earn the votes of citizens who believe in what we will do if they trust us.
I for one am thinking seriously about how to engage my skills, heart and mind to influence change rather than watch it, hope for it and at times look away from it.
SISTER. GIANT.
Think of the best women you know . . .
Now imagine them with the "audacity to wield power"- M. Williamson
Let's work to get more woman at the table. Won't that be nice?
I hope you will join me at: http://www.facebook.com/CoachWSolutions
Thursday, November 8, 2012
Sister Giant: Here We Come
This weekend I will be attending Sister Giant in Los Angeles. This event has been created by Marianne Williamson in collaboration with The Woman's Campaign School at Yale University. Williamson describes this event as an intersection of consciousness and politics. I like the timing so this doesn't turn into a political rally - that's over for now. Instead we can focus on where we are now and where we want to go. It may be naive, but I believe that we must engage and when I say "we" I mean: 1) woman 2) those who want the discussion to include education and children's advocacy and 3) everyone. Ok, #3 isn't going to happen, but #1 already played out earlier this week and #2 could happen in the near future.
Most people are going to take a break from politics after a long, grinding election season, but some of us are going to carry on. This is a new, first time event and I'm excited to check it out. There are participants signed up from every state and several other countries.
I don't know what to expect, but the description resonates and that is my guide to this experience.
More later -
Visit me at: http://www.facebook.com/CoachWSolutions
Most people are going to take a break from politics after a long, grinding election season, but some of us are going to carry on. This is a new, first time event and I'm excited to check it out. There are participants signed up from every state and several other countries.
I don't know what to expect, but the description resonates and that is my guide to this experience.
More later -
Visit me at: http://www.facebook.com/CoachWSolutions
Sunday, November 4, 2012
Rejecting the Dirty Feet of Hate
I chose this quote by Gandhi today, because every day last week, I had a conversation with a student or colleague about this very issue: the hateful and unkind words of another, ringing and echoing in their minds, making them sad, angry or confused.
What we must remember is we cannot (nor should we try to) control what others say. We can turn off our computer, delete posts on Facebook, not read hateful emails and so on, but we cannot in fact, stop the thoughts and unkind words of another.
What can we do?
- Remind ourselves that the words of another are not entitled to residence in our minds!
- We control what stays in our minds - and what stay there, lives there.
- We control the repeat button (and what we repeat becomes our beliefs and actions)
- We can choose to not believe the critic, especially when their motive is to be unkind
- When faced with the "dirty feet" of another, we have the opportunity to make decisions for and about ourselves. Here are a few possibilities:
- Get our feelings hurt, walk away, stuff the hurt. This decision usually leads to trying to please the person who was unkind the next time you see them or avoiding them altogether. (I am not recommending this one, but it can happen before we realize it)
- Shoot back with an equally mean or harsher response. Notice I used the word "shoot" because this is battle mentality and contributes to more conflict. (I do not endorse this choice)
- Respond to the critic that you do not share their opinion and choose to discontinue the exchange. This may depend on the relationship and what you hope it will be in the future. I try to choose my honest and most respectful response.
- Give the critic your permission to share their opinions of you. We can often learn something by staying a bit longer in the fray, but stay grounded - when we get emotional, the intellect has ceased. When they are done (and often they will choose not to continue) let them know that you heard them, but choose not to accept what is untrue or hurtful to you. This often will change the behavior of the other person the next time they see you.
Anyone can crawl out of bed and write, speak, spew, or tweet an insult. It takes compassion and maturity to respect the dignity of another human being regardless of whether you know each other, like each other or agree with each other. Let there be no misunderstanding, I have ignored, engaged, reacted badly, and believed the unkind words of others - probably still do, but less and less and less and as I do, I feel much better about everything.
Our minds are our very own domains. They are ours to keep clear, evolving and kind.
I will not allow another to walk through my mind with dirty feet. I love that. I hope you do too. Thank you Gandhi.
I hope you will join me and hit LIKE at:
http://www.facebook.com/CoachWSolutions
Wednesday, October 31, 2012
This is Halloween!
I wish my friends and family on the East Coast all the best. I know it's been a few rough days and for some, they will be facing a complete rebuilding of their homes and neighborhoods. To all of you, I wish a speedy recovery, with support from your state, Red Cross and FEMA workers.
I'm giving out candy tonight and about to hop on a webinar so I won't be blogging this evening. Here are some Halloween tunes compliments of one of my favorites, Danny Elfman, composer for most of Tim Burton's movies:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5-_au-aVLKo
Happy Halloween!
W
I'm giving out candy tonight and about to hop on a webinar so I won't be blogging this evening. Here are some Halloween tunes compliments of one of my favorites, Danny Elfman, composer for most of Tim Burton's movies:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5-_au-aVLKo
Happy Halloween!
W
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